Smilingmoon's smile

I know i can't change my past. But i won't let it ruin my present. Some people will still remember my mistakes, my bad past. I do too sometimes. Well, most of the time. And it usually make me sad to remember that. I sometime wish i could just vanish from this world for a moment. But my past still didn't change, right? Despite how willing i am to be better, some people may still hate me, dislike me and i couldn't do anything about it. I learn the hard way. I learn that you can't make everyone like you. Just do what make you happy--as long as it didn't hurt anyone or anything. And the most important is, I learn to know someone who will forgive me and love me no matter how bad my past is or how many sins i make--as long as I come to Him and ask His forgiveness. Yes, Allah.

Disini aku, baring di kasur sambil main hp dan yaa seperti biasa, belum bisa tidur.. Bingung mau ngapain. Pengennya sih chat-an gitu ya kan sampai akunya ketiduran wkwk gadeng. Ih, tapi aku tuuu pengen tidur lho, supaya bisa bangun pagiii huaa T_T Btw, aku gatau post ini arahnya kemana yaudahlah ya go with the flow aja hehehe. Ohya, baru inget, yang mau aku bahas disini adalah tentang insecurities. Pernah gak tiba-tiba ngerasa down? Ngerasa "gak cukup" atau "kurang"? Misal kurang cantik, kurang baik, kurang pinter dan kurang-kurang yg lain. Bahkan kurang dlm segala hal.. Aku lagi merasakan itu sekarang. Aku merasa diriku ini kurang. Nggak ada apa-apa dibanding orang lain. Nggak pantes dihormatin, dihargain, disukain. Banyak hal yang bisa bikin perasaan semacam itu muncul. Nggak cuma media sosial. Kejadian di kehidupan sehari-hari pun bisa bikin perasaan itu muncul. Tapi, adakalanya juga aku ngerasa bersyukur dan senang dengan diriku ini. Segala yang aku lakuk...